


Gods and Mortals

by lowpunny



Category: Greek Mythology, Mythology, Original Work, gods - Fandom
Genre: Edgelords, Gods in the Making, Greek Mythology - Freeform, OC, OCs - Freeform, Original Story - Freeform, Original work - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8354089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowpunny/pseuds/lowpunny
Summary: okay so im writing my own little storyin this you will read about how gods are madelong story that may or may not be finished but feel free to give me tips on it!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea when this is going to get more written on it but i will update it  
> sometime

We follow the stereotypical edgy, goth teenager named Todd. He keeps The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey clutched close to his chest at all times, ready to tell the other students the profound truth that has been denied our society for far too long. If you pass him in the halls at school, you can hear the tune of a song from Dot Dot Curve being hummed under his breath. Most times his mascara would be smudged and staining his face from the mock tears he musters when telling the story of his suffering that was only alleviated by the truth he has now come to know, but if he is seen very early in the morning, he has perfect, clean eyeliner. It does not last long. Todd will then skulk over to you and say in a monotone voice, “I have some ‘wonderful’ news for you.”

Then, the tears fall leaving gray trails, his breath catches, and he flips through the pages of his trusty companion to find a fitting excerpt. The mono colored boy will continue reading, allowing his voice to take on a ragged sound, pained, even. It takes a few minutes before the target either loses interest or runs in fear. As they run away, he will yell, “Leave me! Leave me like everyone else has!” His fist clenched to add emphasis. 

His face is stained with the black from his makeup as he bursts into a bout of giggling. He looks into the reflection of his phone while standing in the hallway of his school to see what the fake tears did to his look. It made him look that much more gothic, so he didn’t feel the need to fix it. He walks on with his thumb in between the pages of The Satanic Bible, ready for the next person that bothers to listen. He gets to his classroom and takes his seat in the back left corner of the room. His desk is by his friends, equally as dark, depressing, and moody as he. He then recounts the tale of his latest attempt at saving yet another sheep from the slaughter, but to no avail. 

“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.”  
― George S. Patton Jr.  
He quotes. 

His friends laugh, one of the fleeting moments that they let the mask of constant despair fall. Honest joy can be seen amongst them, but once a fellow classmate that is sitting on the outer edge of the group makes a remark on it, they quickly return to the face that is devoid of emotion. Eyes half lidded, hair falling into their lines of sight, and a firm line where their mouth should be as they stare straight ahead. Their classmates are always amazed at how quickly they can change to such a stoic matter, but lack the courage to bring it up. There are too many rumors of them having made deals with the devil to engage. That tends to scare people off. 

The school day goes on fairly uneventful, as always. Passing by rows of lockers and doors to room after room, seeing the occasional scare towards a student lower on the food chain, and doing nothing to help the poor underclassmen. The teachers and students being sure to give the black clad children more than enough room, so they will not touch them. The group meet up at one of their homes. They hide away in the basement to give the room atmosphere that fits with their intentions. They wish to speak with the dead.

The room is slightly cooler than the rest of the home due to it being underground. All lights turned off.The fireplace holding a few logs that have long since stopped burning, but now have soft glowing embers on them is the only thing illuminating the room. The children sit around a long coffee table, hands linked, and on their knees, as they chant incantations. They all sit uniformly, backs straight, arms stiff, and faces emotionless. Todd can almost feel his soul opening to welcome any spirits who wish to contact him when a father comes down to ask them what test they’re studying for. 

Groans can be heard from each of them. He quickly takes the hint and returns upstairs.

As a group, they have never had success, but individually, most have had a story to tell about the spirits that have come into contact with them. All except for Todd. The dipshit believed all of the lies that his friends had told him. He ate that shit up. The tall tales that grew taller with each telling were what gave him motivation to continue to attempt to speak to those beyond this mortal plane. 

Tonight, he tries out the latest tool to aid with interdimensional communication, a piece of paper drawn up to look like an ouija board with a piece of broken glass to be the planchette. It wasn’t very practical, but it looked cool as fuck. Especially when his finger slipped and a small drop of blood appeared from the fresh cut. He didn’t bother to move his hand to clean it. He believed that spirits could be drawn out like sharks. They can sense when blood is near and rush to it, looking to devour the source. 

That was just some bullshit that he came up with to sound cool and to make a story for his friends to hear, so if he came back empty handed, he wouldn’t look as bad.

The room he is in is his own basement, lights turned off, save for a little night light next to the television. He was a little scared of the dark, so it stayed on. The young man was seated at a low table and faced the recliner close to the stairs. A few items were scattered on the table, a remote, a few magazines for celebrity gossip, and the book that never left his side with a pen shoved in between the pages, but, otherwise, it was clean. The walls had various pictures of him as a baby framed. A few of the family pets over the years as well. The cat was in a room upstairs and he told his mother that he was studying. No distractions this time. 

He sits with his fingers on the glass, light as a feather and says, “Hello to all that are beyond this realm. I call unto thee to speak your divine wisdoms to me. Please, make yourself known. I call unto thee! Speak! I wish to hear from you!”  
He pauses, hoping that the makeshift planchette is working, but that was just him moving it. He was excited and more than a bit shaky, so there was the cause of that. 

He puffed out a sigh, his professionalism fading, “Hey, let me level with ya’, I just need something to know that this shit is real. I’ve been following all of this bull for how fucking long? At least three years. No offense, but I might give up after this attempt if I don’t see nothing.”

He stared at the paper to see nothing. 

“Aurgh! Come on! Show me something! Uh, I’ll give you my first born child if you show me something that proves you are real. Come on. Give it to me. By the count of three.”

“One.” He looked from side to side, back to the paper, then to his book. 

“Two.” He noticed nothing new. The same scribblings in the footnotes and a drop of blood that had long since dried onto the paper. 

“This is the last one, come on,” he looked around the room slowly. He wanted to give them time to make their move. He finally let out the breath he was holding, “Three…”

The emo teen slouched from his upright position to fully show his discontent with the spirits. He didn’t bother to say goodbye in the way that he had always been told to. He simply lifted his fingers from the glass and brushed the paper off the table, onto the floor. The glass was stuck to his finger from the dried blood.

“Fuck! God damn it!” he let out a rather long list of swears as he shook his hand as if to dry them of water left over from the bathroom sink in the house of a family that forgot to keep towels stored in said room. 

“Get off of me! For fucks sake! Shit!” He screamed a little louder when the glass clung to his skin for dear life. A marching came down the stairs as his mother frowned at him.

“What did I hear you say, young man?” Her eyes narrowed behind the overly large frames as she stood halfway down the stairs to get a better view of her son. 

He went pale as he muttered out, “Uh, no-nothing! I didn’t say anything, mom!”

“Then tell me what the hell that is on your hand.” She pointed to the hand with the glass still hanging on. She stomped down the rest of the stairs to his side by the coffee table. His mother reached to grab the hand he tried to hide behind his back. When she saw the glass, she shook her head with an exasperated sigh.

“What am I going to do with you? Just wait til Angy sees this.” She pinched the bridge of her nose after pushing the glasses down to the point where they were barely on.

He stammered for a second, “Uh, please mom! Don’t tell mama about this! She said that if she caught me with the book again that I wouldn’t have it. I’m not doing anything wrong! The blood all happen from accidents! I swear. Not related to Satan at all!” Wow, this kid sure knew how to talk his way out of a possible grounding. 

“Just, come on. We need to get you washed up and bandaged before she comes home from your aunt’s house.” Bailey, his mom, pressed her finger up the bridge of her nose, to push the glasses close to her eyes. She took a deep breath in to calm herself. She needed to be reasonable for this. 

He tugged on his arm, so he could stand to his feet. She obliged and waited for him to stand with an unamused gaze. Todd trudged to the bathroom that was ten feet from the room he was in. Down the hall, second door to his left. “Don’t follow me in. I’m a big kid now. I’ve got this.” 

Bailey nodded as she leaned her back to the wall. “Go on then.”

He slammed the door behind him and turned on the light. The room before him had a white porcelain toilet next to the wall opposite of the yellow sink and matching cabinet that accompanied it. The bathtub that doubled as a shower took up a third of the room. It sat there with beads of water on the shiny, off-white surface left over from the bath he had taken before starting his communication with the other side. 

A puff of air blew his hair out of his eyes long enough to catch a look at himself in the still foggy mirror. He forgot how well he could see without the continuous obstruction. The thought pushed aside to focus on the task at hand. Getting his bloody hand clean. 

He knelt down to open the cabinet to fetch the alcohol, cotton balls, and bandages. He stood up and doused the small bit of cotton, dabbing it on his cut. “Shit!”

He clamped his uninjured hand over his mouth. “Sorry…” It was muffled, but he had to say it to keep the punishment to a minimum. 

Returning to his work of cleaning the wound, he bit his tongue to keep any exclamations of pain quiet. He finally finished the chore that was self care, and opened the door to find his mother standing with her back to the door.

“I’m done. Give me the once over to be sure I didn’t miss anything,” he grumbled. 

She took his hand and looked over the bandaid. He had cleaned up the blood, so there wasn’t anything else needed. “You’re good. Have you bathed already? If not, go ahead and do that; then, go to bed. I’ll tell your mama all about this.”

“Already took a bath, but thanks. How bad will my punishment be? No leaving the house for a year?” He attempted to laugh by pushing out a slight puff of air.

“Nah, nothing that extreme. You’ll get a stern talking to from both of us at the least, and the worst, you have to come straight home from school.” She shrugged her shoulders as she weighed her options.

“Well, how can I come ‘straight’ home if I’m not even straight?” He lifted his hands to make finger guns. 

She snorted, “All right, Mr. Pansexual, you’ve got me there, but you understand what I’m saying, right?”

“Yes ma’am.” Todd nodded.

Just in time, the sound of a door opening could be heard from upstairs followed by a loud, “Hey, anyone home? Aunt Martha sent some gifts to you for a late christmas.”


	2. New Form

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and this is the end of the set up for the story and the next chapter will be The Journey  
> this chapter has some illustrations so my descriptions dont sound like complete nonsense  
> you can thank dinosaurfeathers.tumblr.com for that B;^D

He was sitting on the ground amidst an ocean of boxed Christmas supplies and a few lawn decorations. He lifted up the flaps of one of the many dust covered cardboard boxes that held the memories of his childhood. The first thing that Todd saw was the book he carried by his side for so many years. He ran his thumb over the black, weathered cover and laughed at who he used to be.

 

“How the times have changed…” he mused.

 

A glance away from the box could show how he had matured since graduating. The long awaited Harley he had hoped for in his youth had changed to a minivan with three stickers to depict his family, his husband Garth and their child Merlow. He had given up the call of religion to go to college and get a ‘real living’ as his mom always said. He was now an accountant with a loving husband and bright, young child. Garth called out to ask how much longer Todd would be. He answered with a quick, “Just a minute!” 

He sat the book back into its place and closed the box to collect dust for another seven years. It was always nice to go down memory lane. He jumped from his spot on the chalk covered concrete. Todd wiped the pink dust from the seat of his pants before he returned to the kitchen. Merlow was waiting at the door to greet him. They were very excited because they had a birthday coming up. They were turning six tomorrow. A small party was planned that included most of their classmates and some family members. It wouldn’t be a big party, but enough for Merlow to have the time of their life. 

"Daddy, do you want to look at this drawing I made? It's of you and Dad!" chirped Merlow in their usual hyper tone. They tugged on their father's pant leg and waved the paper in the air. It was a stick figure drawing of two men holding hands. They had covered the tops of the heads with the color best matching its owner, bright red for Garth and a deep brown for Todd. 

Todd smiled as he ruffled their hair, "Of course I do." He lifted the paper so he could better focus on the drawing. His vision was a bit blurry before fiddling with the glasses he wore. Once the image came into focus he chuckled. Merlow was improving with their stick figures. This set didn't have a long line between their legs like the drawing that was stuck to the fridge. He pointed out one of the other drawings to Merlow to show them their progress.

Garth and Todd had agreed beforehand that now was the time to distract Merlow, so the gift could be wrapped. They were going to swing by the grocery store to grab the cake for the party. That was sure to be a long task. Merlow just loved to run up and down the clothing aisles and window shop. 

 

The two of them were walking around the Wal-Mart, dawdling time away in the clothing section. Merlow ran through the racks of shirts and pants before picking a cozy spot to camp out while their dad looked for them. They giggled as they waited for the warm hands of their father to pull them from the insides of the rack, but instead they felt something oddly cold and rough, like rusted metal that had been left out during the winter lifted them.

Garth pushed the buggy towards the display rack that had ruffled from what was presumably a pink skirted child. Having reached the display, he stopped and pushed the clothes apart, but there was no sign of a child. He called out, "Merlow! I need you to come back here now. We need to get that cake or no party." 

Nothing. He started to panic slightly. Garth removed a articles of clothing from the neighboring racks. He grabbed the shoulder of a woman standing a few feet away from him, "Have you seen this child?" He produced a picture from his wallet to show her. She shook her head.

Merlow cried, “Daddy! Dad! Help!” 

 

No one came. They felt the ground back underneath their feet again, so they stumbled back from the unpleasant touch. The world around them was dark and empty. Everything had a slight gray hue to it, even their own skin. The landscape around them was barren. It resembled a concrete jail cell, but an enormous one. There seemed to be no walls within view. The sky was a slightly darker gray than the ground that faded into black the farther down the horizon one looked. Shadows were very hard to differentiate from the monotone scene. 

 

“Hello?” Merlow called out in the hopes that they were not really alone. 

 

A long silence went on, no noise, like a vacuum. They could hear their own innards churning, grumbling; then footsteps. The slapping sound of soles of feet smacking concrete. 

 

“Yo, kid. Whatever the fuck your name is, calm down so I can tell you what’s up,” the dead silence was broken with a very casual voice. It had a drawl, as if the speaker were intoxicated. 

 

Merlow jumped when they heard a loud belch. “Yeah, calm down, you scared little shit. This is the purgatory. Shit’s got hit for you. You can thank your dad for that. Well, you’ve got two of ‘em, so you can thank Todd Dad for this. You see, the annoying fuck made a deal with me about a decade ago?” The speaker, now in full view, was obviously not human. It looked terrifying. 

It had two heads, one spouting from its rear end, and what appeared to be several doors littered across its body. Some were open to reveal colorful sets of eyes. The two hind legs were hoofed while the rest looked like those of a whippet hound’s. The skin a gradient from red to brown, speckled with white along the arch of the back gave it a sickly appearance. As the tail curved to form the second head, it faded into a pale orange with teeth that would put a velociraptor to shame. The rear moved of its own accord, snapping and snarling at everything that was remotely close to it. It perked up as it caught the scent of the child, a grin grew on its face, tongue flicking out to get a better idea of what was in front of it. The more controlled of the two appendages had flesh covered tusks growing from its mouth. The neck had slits that show several sets of teeth that clicked and chattered. As the eye followed to the chest of the beast, a barred door holding a beating heart could be seen. The clenching and bouncing of the slimy flesh was vomit inducing. 

 

The creature had been chattering away about how he was the most powerful being for all of mankind to know when he noticed that the child wasn’t paying attention, but rather eyeing the heart chamber. “Hey! Kid! Listen to me, damn it! I’m trying to help you out! Stop staring at my tits!”

 

His tail whipped around to cover the heart as he stuck out his tongue. “Fucking sicko!”

 

Merlow was crying. They didn’t know what was happening, so they did what they thought best, cry. 

 

Loud, ragged sobs came from the small frame of the child. They called out for their parents to no avail. The two headed creature stood by with obvious annoyance on its leathery face. 

 

After many moments of crying, he was sick of hearing this heathen. “Are you done?”

 

Merlow didn’t know what else to do, obviously no one was going to come save them, so they nodded.

 

“Good. Now, like I was saying, you are now under my watch. You will be my apprentice. I’m Janus, God of Doors and Gates. What are you? Whiny Mcbabypants?” He paused, waiting for an answer. “Nothing? Alright, fine. Uh, what else is there to tell you about? I’ve gone over the basics, you’re my apprentice, you do as I say, blah, blah, blah.” 

 

Janus tapped a talon against the hard ground while he thought. “Eh, that’s about it.”

 

He shrugged then gave his new pupil a closer inspection, sniffing them and running a leg against their skin. “Wait, fuck, are you still in that meat sack? Cthulhu’s vagina, what kind of shit are they giving me?” 

 

He muttered more obscenities under his breath before saying, “Alright. You have to change into your new form. You know how to do that right? Just clench and focus.”

 

Janus nudged them out of their huddle. Merlow fell to their back. “Come on, Whiny. Do what I said. It’ll make things so much easier.”

 

Merlow’s body went ridged. They were trying to do as told, clench and focus. A gurgling erupted from their belly and out came a small “Pfft,” of air. Janus hacked as he backed away. 

 

“Fuck a dildo up a doll ass, you smell like shit!” He waved his second head in front of his nostril to rid himself of the smell. 

 

He coughed out, “Hold still while I do this for you.” 

 

He stepped back and lifted a paw to open a door just above the heart chamber. The knob was covered in rust, so he fiddled with it for a moment as he muttered. His patience was at its end, so he grabbed the hinge and pulled it until it broke. A loud shit was screamed as it popped off. He pulled out a clear bottle that had a thick coating of pink slime on it, and tossed it onto Merlow’s lap.

 

“Open it. The air in there should get you on the right track. Get a good, deep whiff of it.”

 

Merlow grabbed the hem of their shirt to clean the bottle. They pulled the cork out and hesitantly brought it to their nose. Once they had a lung full of the odor in it, they dropped the bottle and gagged. 

 

Janus cackled, “That’s what you get for farting on me! But, you’ll start changing in a secon- Oh, there you go.” 

 

He detected the smell of blood and mucus. It most likely meant that they were changing into a new form. 

Many eyes began to burst out of the skin on their head and the largest one on their back. Their legs elongating and cracking while their hands and feet turning into long, sharp claws, and a rat-like tail sprouted from under their skirt. A second and third set of legs erupted from their sides, breaking open the t-shirt they wore. Merlow’s nose drew out into a snout with an equally long tongue to match. Eight legs scrambled to gain footing on the ground underneath them while the last mutation grew above the eye on their back. Merlow slumped to the ground in a daze. Their many eyelids fluttered as their face opened to show the skeletal structure and muscles that built them up. 

 

“I can’t even see what’s happening, but I know I don’t like it,” Janus said once the cracking of settling bones stopped. 

 

A few moments passed while Merlow tried to catch their breath, “Alright, kid. Time to get off your ass and learn what this hornet dick is like.” Janus nudged them to their feet with his tail. 

 

Once on their feet, Janus began his speech. 

 

“So, first thing you have to know in this place is you always have to be alert. There’s something on you that keeps your proverbial soul, and you have to protect it or you will die. If it is crushed, you will no longer be living in any form of the word. Your body will rot, all of that nasty shit. Seen it happen ‘fore. Not pretty.”

 

He paused to think on what to say next, but nothing inspired came to mind. 

 

“That’s all I got, so stick with me. You’ll catch on. Eventually. Maybe.”


	3. The Joys Of Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhh sorry about taking so long to get this next chapter out, but here ya go people!!   
> we skipped ahead ten years from merlow and janus first meeting and now its time for the chick to leave the nest

“Janus, I’m telling you! If Harambe and Crepitus got in a fist fight, Harambe would win! Old Sire Farty would just keel over from the shit fumes that he cursed Harambe with; then The H Man would fucking throw ape shit at him… or, well, gorilla shit. But you get the point.”   
Merlow and their mentor of ten years, Janus, were having yet another argument over who would win in a fist fight, the late Harambe or Crepitus, God of Flatulence. Crepitus was an old friend of theirs who the both of them enjoyed to poke fun at. Harambe wasn’t a god, but he had enough lore about him to be one. 

Merlow was lazing around while Janus busied himself with making eyes at any other god that would look his way. The land around them was as gray and bleak as always, but they had gotten a bit more popular with the humans, so they could afford to move up in purgatory. They now resided in a suburb-esque area that was home to many other lesser gods, Crepitus being one of them. 

The bird-like beak of Crepitus made a loud thud against the ground behind Merlow. “I heard you’re talking shit, laddy?” He had a tendency to squawk out his words, so a slight jump came from Merlow as the shrill voice registered. 

“Hey, hey, hey, I wasn’t talking shit this time, pooplord. I’m just saying, you use your powers on the wrong guy, and bam! You are shit out of luck. Literally.” Merlow waved their head while speaking to give a more casual nuance to it. 

“Oi, then explain why you say I would lose to a fuckin’ ape!” He brought down a taloned foot onto the cold, cracked ground. “I may be old, but I ain’t no fuckin’ puss in a fight!” 

Janus decided now was the time to butt into the conversation. “Ay, leave the kid alone. They just trying to fucking have a laugh, my pal. Ain’t no harm done. Not like it’ll hurt your following of one.” His words slurred together horribly due to the constant intoxication he subjected himself to. It numbed the pain of existence, as he always put it. 

Crepitus fluffed up his feathers at that remark, “Hey! Now, nobody talks about my lady, but me! She’s a fine girl and is doing her damn best, and I expect some fucking respect from you. Plus, I actually have 183 followers, so suck on my feathery nuts, Mr. 168.” 

“I have offered to a few times, but you deny me, so what is a guy to do?” Janus tilted a nearly empty bottle to his lips then said, “Take a fucking sip, babes.” 

Merlow burst into a bout of laughing at that line while Crepitus continued with his irritated stare. Janus winked as he finished off the last of his beverage, “So, Merlow, when are you going to start the big journey? You know, the one where you have to, uh, fucking become your own god. I don’t want to have to support you for your whole damn life. No offense, kid, but I ain’t nobody to depend on as you can see.” He motioned to the door on his left side that held his soul that had a small fracture. 

“Heh, yep, got that one back, ‘bout an hour ago. Good times, good times…” 

Merlow called out in a bored tone, “Don’t start telling us the story of how you got in a fight with a fruit fly because you thought it said your nonexistent dick was small. We sat here and watched that happen. That wasn’t even an hour ago.” They shook their head and muttered, “How you’re still alive, I don’t know.” 

Janus smiled and shot back, “Maybe because I got the goods…” He winked and stuck out a tongue as he dragged out the word. 

“You’ve got all of jack-fucking-shit, dingus.” Merlow was getting irritable now because they were the one that got Janus to where he was. Without them, he would still be barely surviving in the lowest ring of purgatory, making deals with troubled kids. It was all thanks to Merlow that he was bumped up to “Lesser, Lesser God.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Again, thanks for all ya’ help, kid, but really, when are you going to leave the nest? You’re 16, been an apprentice for ten years, and have more than enough experience to get your own edgelord to sacrifice their child. What’s holding you back?”

Merlow sat for a moment, looking thoughtfully at the ground, “You sure I can’t get my first follower, then go on my own?”

Janus threw his head back in annoyance, “Yes! I am sure you can’t do that because that’s what the big ones say! Fuck, don’t you listen?”

“Yes, I do. Better than you, I might add, but still. You know it’s scary being the only one down there. I’ve heard more than enough tales of your loneliness down in the caverns,” they said with a pout.

“I’ll come visit you. Don’t worry about it. I’ll check on you once, maybe twice a millennia,” Janus smirked.

“Don’t give him any attention, you know how he is. The minute you’re gone, he’ll come running to meet you again. Plus, you know that I’ll always come to talk to you every so often,” Crepitus chimed in.

Merlow sat and weighed their options, tilting their head from side to side. “Yeah, how about tomorrow? You cut the cord and I hop down there.”

Crepitus and Janus nodded in agreement before saying, “That’ll do just fine for me.” 

A moment passed in silence before Janus let out a loud belch. He chuckled to himself at his lack of manners.

“And that’s what drives the ladies mad,” Crepitus snorted out. “I haven’t met a single one who isn’t a bit pissy when he pulls that.”

Merlow thought to themself for a moment on what was to come from this important decision that was discussed and decided in a matter of seconds. They wouldn’t be able to rely on Janus to keep them safe. They would have to fight and feed themself from now on. It would be nice to not have to hear the constant flatulence that Crepitus and Janus kept going, but they would miss the company. They were good friends of Merlow’s even if one of them did try to eat them once, but that was in the past. 

Merlow heaved a sigh as they stretched out on the familiar rut in the dirt they had spent years making one last time. They needed something to remember while left in the lower rung.


	4. Learning What It Takes To Be A God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here, we see merlow get their first follower and holy fuck bro
> 
> again, if ya notice any typos or something in there feel free to point em out for me my dudes   
> hope yall get a chuckle cause one of those lines i wrote took twenty years off my life. you know which one. you know.

“Hello? HellOOOOOOOOOO?” Merlow was calling out into the dim night as they wandered about the lowest rung, searching for some other life. It had gotten fairly lonely, and boring. They can look at the same dark gray backdrop only so many times before it was insufferably boring. 

“How did Janus even manage to talk to someone?” they wondered aloud. It had been a week since they had began their journey on their own. Merlow sighed, throwing their head in frustration. They puffed out a sigh, “Okay, I guess I’ll meditate and see if I can gaze into the eye of some hopeless teenager. Maybe pull the same stunt Janus managed.”

 

They lowered themself to the ground, curling up into a comfortable position; then closed their eyes. A deep breath in and out. Breathe in, and out. Inhale, exhale. A slow, steady pace was set as they began to relax the muscles of their legs, then back, and finally shoulders. After half an hour of them sitting in the cool silence that was the lowest rung, a slight spark of light appeared in their vision. 

Eyes still closed, they shot to the source of the light and began to follow it. Merlow’s eyes glanced from one side the other, not wanting to lose track of the glimpse of something new. It began to dilate. The light stabilized, landing in the center of their vision, and expanded. They rolled their eyes back into their head, following the edge of the light. Soon, the edge was no longer visible. A faint pop was heard, as if a soap bubble had burst. The slight sound startled Merlow, so they opened their eyes to find themself in a completely different place. 

They spun their head around to quickly assess the new environment. Most of the walls had been covered with Blood on the Dance Floor and Insane Clown Posse posters. Several of the posters had smudged remains of bright pink and black lipstick. There appeared to be a few Hello Kitty plushes that had been gutted sitting on the foot of the twin bed. The bed was covered in a simple black fitted sheet and matching blankets. A glance to the other end of the room brought the image of an open closet that was overflowing with black and neon clothing. Next to it sat a desk that had several things scribbled over the white paint. The desk also held a few binders that sat open with a few drawings laying there. Finally, there sat a preteen girl at the very edge of the desk. She was in an odd state that was a mixture of excitement and confusion. 

A high pitched squeal came from her as she hopped to her feet, “Oh my god! I can’t believe it worked! Okay, so…” 

She had began to rattle off requests of what she wanted to happen while Merlow watched in a stupor. All they could think was, ‘How can I die.’ 

After several minutes had passed, they spoke up. “I don’t know who in the name of Ninlil’s left ovary told you any of this shit, but they are dead wrong. Here’s a little run down. You ask what you would like out of this deal, and I say my price. Simple, right?” Hot damn, Janus taught them how to bullshit well. Their face lost all confusion and gained one that took no shit from anyone. 

The girl deflated. “Ugh! Fine, okay. You know what would be a great story to tell my friends?” her face began to perk up. “If my first kiss was with a fucking monster! Ex dee!”

Merlow’s mouth was agape while the ridiculousness of the situation sank in. ‘This kid just said, out loud, XD. I… holy shit, I have hit rock bottom and I just fucking started.’ They lifted up a clawed paw to cover their face while shaking their head. They sighed before speaking. “Before I can make any promises for you, you need to tell me your age.”

“Fifteen! Practically an adult!” she chimed. 

Their face fell deeper into their paw, “Please, tell me I wasn’t this bad…” 

A moment passed before Merlow spoke again. “Alright. Here are my terms. For me to be your first kiss, you have to be a follower of mine. Worship me, Merlow God of Mutation. If you don’t hold up your end of the deal, you’ll lose, uh, I don’t know, a leg?” They waved a hand while attempting to come up with something. 

No sooner than the words came out of their mouth did the young girl scream a very enthusiastic, “Yes! But, you have to use tongue. I’m not missing anything.”

Merlow lost all emotion in their face, “You’ll get what you get, and you’ll like it.”

The pair of them looked around for a moment, trying to figure out what to do in the situation. Merlow didn’t have the slightest idea because they had no interest in kissing. The stranger, she, well, she was just hoping that it would live up to all of the self insert erotica she had read. She shuffled and looked at the ground while the other was looking at her in boredom. 

“Fuck this.” Merlow gave the closest to a peck on the lips they could. It was enough to have her squealing like a blue ribbon pig that was greased up and thrown into the pig wrangling ring of your local county fair. She jumped up, sprawling her limbs out in a wild manner for several minutes. She landed a hard kick to Merlow’s hindquarters before flopping on the bed. 

“I’m guessing that was good enough? You remember what we agreed on, right?”

She waved her hand at them absent mindedly, “Yeah, yeah. I have to worship you or i lose a leg. No biggie.”

“Oh thank fuck.” They let out a sharp breath as they were suddenly back into purgatory. Panting for a moment, they looked around. Everything looked the same, gray and bleak. “I don’t feel different, or look it, but I’ve got one follower. One.” 

They paused for a good while to regain control of their breath. “One down, 99 to go. Then after that, 499. Shit, this is going to take a long time. I’m going to go the fuck to sleep after that ordeal.”


End file.
